Friday, May 15, 2009

Kinda Lost

Hum..., as I think out loud.

I have been in a kinda rut lately. Not sure why - just know that I am.

As a spiritualist I know that things happen for a reason and that everything comes to an end - bad or good. Despite the fact that it has been 7 arduous months of struggling financially for us and still no sign of things getting better - the overall mood in our home has been a good one. Money issues have never really bothered me because something always comes along. But of late I have been paralysed, if you will, in getting things done. My drive to create new things independent of orders that I get from our etsy site has taken a back seat.

Even meditation, which normally lifts my spirits to a positive level hasn't helped much. I can't even say that people have disappointed me because they haven't. What is it - I wonder - that is bringing me down? Usually by this time of year I am elbow deep in soil in my garden.., but not this time.

I look at our sales in our shop and I am quite pleased actually. I compared ours to other sellers and can't help but think how disheartening it must be for some vendors to get little if no sales at all. How dare I feel down! I thank God each and every day for getting us through, for each sale and for the money that trickles in for food - I thank God. I have everything I need. A devoted husband, three great and loving children and a roof over my head so why am I down?

While in meditation today I asked my spirit guide for answers. I was shown text from a chat room move swiftly across my mind. As I tried to read it, it disappeared. I heard the words, "look back" and then nothing to explain the meaning. And as I walked around the house picking up laundry, I was shown the words, "distracted and unfocused".

Maybe this is true. Am I letting things bother me that normally wouldn't? Am I slow to start on new projects because I am not focused? Possibly. Where is this frustration coming from?

As I try to write this blog I am distracted by laughter. *turned up lip* My son is telling my husband about a rumor that is making it's rounds at school. Apparently, Chris, our son, who is 15yrs old, was pulled over by the police and as a result of this our family van was impounded. Pretty hard to do considering I'm looking at it in our driveway now. 0_o!! Moreover, that the boy recounting the incident to Chris and on lookers apparently witnessed the incident and told Chris he looked peed at the officer. Chris found this rather amusing and opted to let it ride, (he didn't rebut the statement) because as he sees it. The rumour will only grow legs and take off regardless of what he tells people. So the running joke in our house is.., Chris can't drive the van 'cause he might get it impounded. *a bit of humor* :)

Thanks for the ear!

Anne ^i^

1 comment:

  1. Anne - *hugs* - I hope you can find your focus soon! I love the story about your son :)